The nonverbal communication helps us express what we really mean, allows us to better connect with others and establish stronger, more rewarding relationships. If we aspire to become better communicators, it is important that we are sensitive not only to the body language and nonverbal cues of others, but also to our own.
What is nonverbal communication?
Nonverbal communication, also called body language, is the process of sending and receiving messages without using words, whether spoken or written. Just as some spelling marks are useful to emphasize written language, nonverbal behavior can emphasize parts of a verbal message.
It is considered that in a face-to-face communication, nonverbal behavior represents an important percentage of the information we transmit, compared to the rest that corresponds to verbal communication: hence the importance of taking nonverbal communication into account. In any case, below we will review some myths about the weight of nonverbal behavior in communication.
Non-verbal communication should not be confused with non-spoken (oral) communication, since there are non-verbal forms of communication, such as written or sign languages, which are not oral either.
Origins of nonverbal communication
The term nonverbal communication was introduced in 1956 by psychiatrist Jurgen Ruesch and author Weldon Kees in the book “Nonverbal Communication: Notes on the Visual Perception of Human Relations.Nonverbal Communication: Notes on the Visual Perception of Human Relations.“.
However, nonverbal behavior has been recognized for centuries as a fundamental aspect of communication. An example can be found in “The Advancement of Learning” (1605), a work in which Francis Bacon observed that “the lineaments of the body reveal the disposition and inclination of the mind in general, but the movements of the countenance and parts not only do so, but also reveal the mood and present state of the mind and will”.
It is also important to remember the influence of works published by Charles Darwin in 1872, entitled “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals” and the figure of Paul Ekmanthe best known researcher in the field of non-verbal behavior, especially with regard to the facial expressions of emotions.
This same author establishes, together with Wallace Friesen, three types of nonverbal acts:
Non-verbal acts
- Origin: physiological or through our social environment.
- Uses: non-verbal language can be used -or not- to reinforce and clarify a verbal message.
- Coding: can be arbitrary or iconic.
What are the elements of nonverbal communication?
Facial expressions
The human face is capable of expressing countless emotions without saying a word. And unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions of emotions are universal. The facial expressions of happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear and disgust are the same in all cultures.
Gestures
Gestures are part of our daily lives. We wave, point, gesture and use our hands when discussing or talking animatedly, often unconsciously expressing ourselves with gestures. However, the meaning of gestures can be very different depending on the culture and region, so it is important to be careful to avoid misinterpretations. Gestures, body movements and postures are studied by kinesics, also known as kinesics or kinesics.
Touch
We communicate a lot through touch. Think of the messages they convey: a firm handshake, a shy pat on the shoulder, a warm bear hug, a reassuring pat on the back, a condescending nod of the head or a controlling squeeze on the arm.
Space
Have we ever felt uncomfortable during a conversation because the other person was too close and invading our space? We all have a need for physical space, although that need differs depending on the culture, situation and closeness of the relationship.
We can use physical space to communicate many different nonverbal messages, such as signals of intimacy, aggression, dominance or affection. This concept is called proxemics, which is none other than the discipline that studies the spatial relationship between people as a social and signifying manifestation.
Body movements and posture
People’s perception of us varies depending on the way we sit, walk, stand or hold our heads, because the way we move and behave communicates a great deal of information to the outside world. This type of nonverbal communication includes posture, demeanor, stance and movements.
Visual contact
Because the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, such as interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also crucial for maintaining the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person’s response.
Voice
It’s not just what we say, but how we say it. When we speak, others “read” our voice, as well as paying attention to our words in a process of active listening. They focus on timing and rhythm, voice volume, pitch and inflection, and sounds that convey understanding and assent. Let’s think that the tone of voice can show sarcasm, anger, affection or confidence.
This is where paralinguistics comes into play, a science that studies elements such as the intensity or volume of the voice; the speed of utterances; the tone, variants and nuances of intonation and syllabic duration or volume.
What roles and functions does nonverbal behavior play?
- Repetition: non-verbal communication reinforces the message we deliver verbally.
- Contradiction: our nonverbal behavior may contradict the message we are trying to convey, thus indicating to the listener that, in certain cases, we may not be telling the truth.
- Substitution: Non-verbal communication can substitute for a verbal message. For example, our facial expression often conveys a much more vivid message than words.
- Complement: you can add to or complement your verbal message. As a boss, if in addition to praising an employee we give him or her a pat on the back, it can increase the impact of our message.
- Accentuate: You can accentuate or underline a verbal message. Tapping the table, for example, can emphasize the importance of your message.
Examples of the importance of nonverbal communication
Nowadays, the importance of nonverbal behavior in the context of communication is unquestionable, and we can find numerous examples:
A good alternative is to take a look at this video by Sonia El Hakim, lecturer in Nonverbal Behavior in different universities and institutions and for the State Security Forces and Corps, in TEDxRuzafa. It is an interesting and fun review of the relevance of our nonverbal behavior in everyday situations.
In this other video, psychologist and researcher David Matsumoto describes the importance of nonverbal communication and what “microexpressions” and “emblematic gestures” consist of, as a universal language, suggesting that nonverbal communication is learned almost innately and becomes an educational tool to promote learning.
Matsumoto is a psychologist and professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, and founder and director of the Culture and Emotion Research Laboratory, which studies the role of culture, emotion, social interaction and human communication.
Finally, in this video by Sinapsis-Lab, a consulting firm specializing in improving sales results, influence and leadership, reviews Barack Obama’s non-verbal communication in a speech at the Democratic Party convention in Boston in 2004, when he was a senator and not yet so well known.
Non-verbal communication and politics
In the same way as in any other field, non-verbal behaviors are key in political communication. In fact, it is quite common that when an electoral debate has taken place, some experts make an analysis on television of the non-verbal language used by the participants, and draw some conclusions about the message they wanted (or tried) to convey.
In this regard, our colleague Cristina Rubio wrote a post a few years ago on the analysis of the non-verbal language of politicians in campaigns.
Books on nonverbal communication
In our favorite bookstore we can find numerous works about nonverbal communication. Here are some examples:
- Mark L. Knapp (1982). Nonverbal communication: the body and the environment (Editorial Paidós). This is one of the classic works on nonverbal communication, in which the author reviews the most important works carried out to date on the subject and offers the reader a rigorous synthesis. The book addresses, among others, the role of tactile contact in interpersonal relationships, gestures in sexual rituals, the role of appearance in expression, the interrelation between the environment and personality, the direction and meaning of glances, facial expressions, etc.
- Flora Davis (2010). “La comunicación no verbal”. (Alianza Editorial). The author not only establishes an inventory of the techniques used by researchers in this interdisciplinary field where psychological, anthropological and ethological approaches intersect, and of their most important achievements, but also provides numerous examples of how this silent language influences daily life.
- María Calvo del Brío (2021). “Nonverbal communication for curious humans”. (Editorial Almuzara). The author gathers in the book the lessons learned from her professional practice through conferences, lectures, courses and workshops, transmitting these concepts with concrete examples applied to different personal and professional environments: negotiation, interviews, presentations…
Myths of nonverbal communication
One of the most widespread myths about nonverbal communication is the claim that words account for only 7% of what is communicated in a conversation. The rest would consist of 38% of the use of the voice (paralanguage) and 55% of body language (nonverbal communication).
This myth is even supported by a specific study conducted by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, a retired psychology professor) at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA).
But those numbers – suspiciously specific – come from a single study, which should be enough on its own to cast doubt on this claim. Moreover, the study deals with a very specific situation where people are talking about emotional content, and there is a disconnect between the words they use, the tone of voice and the body language.
Can non-verbal communication be misrepresented?
There are hundreds of references and websites that offer tips on how to use body language to your advantage. For example, they can teach us how to sit in a certain way, to join our fingers together or to shake hands in order to appear self-assured.
But it’s really not easy for those tricks not to work, since we can’t manipulate all the signals we constantly send out about what we really think and feel. And the more we try, the more unnatural those signals will probably become.
However, that does not mean that we do not have some control over our verbal communication. For example, if we do not agree with what someone says and want to establish a assertive communicationWe can use negative body language to reject the person’s message, such as crossing our arms, avoiding eye contact or tapping our feet.
Liars do not make eye contact.
Another common myth about nonverbal communication is that liars avoid eye contact. While some liars (especially children) find it difficult to lie while looking at us, other liars, especially more blatant or habitual liars, may overcompensate to “prove” that they are not lying by making too much eye contact and holding it too long.
If we associate lack of eye contact with deception, we run the risk of misinterpreting the signals of people who are shy, introverted or come from cultures where prolonged eye contact is considered rude or threatening.
Exercises for nonverbal communication
There are numerous exercises that allow us to better understand nonverbal communication and use it appropriately when communicating with others:
- One of the most common activities is to seat the members of a group in a circle and one person stands in the circle. Through nonverbal communication, he/she should address one of the participants indicating that he/she wants to sit down and take his/her place.
- Another common example for exercising nonverbal behaviors is to assign each participant a situation to describe to others using only body language. These are simple situations, such as one that might involve being in a hurry and missing the bus.
- The silent interview also represents an excellent dynamic to be aware of the importance of nonverbal communication.
